Laser Fart.

“I saw Abed’s name in the hospital school files. I love butt stuff. I hate spiders. I stole a pen from the bank. I cried during About A Boy…the soundtrack. I don’t wash my hands before a surgery. I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive, to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie…I just want to know they feel comfortable. I-I didn’t get Inception. I didn’t get Inception! There’s so many layers!”

(Source: zooeydeschanels)